Giving Constructive Feedback

Warm-up: The conversation everyone avoids

2 warm-up questions

• Think of the last time someone at work needed to hear something difficult — a colleague, a supplier, even your boss. Did anyone actually say it?
• First try: I'm your colleague, and my part of yesterday's report was full of mistakes. Tell me — 30 seconds, go.

Reading: What the listener is judging

Read a 196-word text about What the listener is judging

What the listener is judging The moment feedback starts, the other person stops listening for information and starts listening for danger. Before they accept a single word, they silently answer three questions about you. “Is this fair?” Feedback about one specific moment feels fair; “you always…” feels like an attack. “In Tuesday's report, the figures on page three didn't match the summary” is hard to argue with — it happened, and you both know it. “Is this about my work — or about me?” “The report was unclear” is workable. “You're careless” is a character verdict, and character verdicts produce defence, never change. “Can I do something with this?” Feedback that stops at the problem leaves people deflated. Feedback that ends with a way forward — “could we add a final check before it goes out?” — leaves them with a plan. The most common failure is being vague to be kind: “it was fine, maybe just polish it a bit.” It sounds gentle, changes nothing, and the same mistake happens next month. Today you'll learn a structure that is specific AND safe — and you'll use it on a real situation from your own job.

Vocabulary: Feedback Vocabulary

6 items

Framework: SBI + Suggestion

SBI + Suggestion, 4 steps

SBI + Suggestion: Four moves that turn an awkward correction into a fair, useful conversation: the specific Situation, the observable Behaviour, the real Impact — and a Suggestion that points forward. Each move is one or two sentences.

Reading: Three model feedback conversations

Read a 249-word text about Three model feedback conversations

Three model feedback conversations The same four moves — situation, behaviour, impact, suggestion — delivered downwards, sideways, and upwards. Notice how the structure stays identical while the tone shifts with the relationship. To a team member (the missed deadline) “Have you got a minute? Last Friday, the design files came in two days after the deadline we'd agreed. Because of that, the developers lost their weekend buffer and we nearly slipped the launch. You're normally the most reliable person on this team — which is exactly why I'm raising it. For the next sprint, could you flag any risk to the deadline by Wednesday, so we still have time to move things around?” To a peer (no authority to hide behind) “Can I mention something from this morning's stand-up? While Priya was giving her update, you and Tomas started discussing the bug fix across her. I watched her lose her thread — she never finished her point. I'm fairly sure you didn't notice, which is why I'm saying it. Maybe we keep side conversations for after the round?” To your manager (upward — softer frame, same facts) “Could I give you one piece of feedback about the project kickoff? In Monday's kickoff, the goals changed twice during the meeting. The team left unsure which version to plan against — three people have since asked me which one is correct. Would it be possible to send a final one-page brief after kickoffs? It would save us a lot of second-guessing.”

Practice: Feedback Phrases

Gap-fill exercise, 5 items

• I wanted to give you some ____ feedback on your presentation.
• I ____ that you stayed late to finish the project. That showed real commitment.
• The ____ of the delay was that we lost the client's trust.
• I'd like to ____ the great work you did on the analysis.
• Could you be more ____ about what needs to change?

Practice: Improve the Feedback

Error-correction exercise, 5 items

• Your presentation was bad.
• You're always late to meetings.
• You need to be more professional.
• Everyone thinks your reports are confusing.
• I guess your work was okay.

Dialogue: Giving Feedback to a Colleague

Role-play: You need to give feedback to a team member about their recent presentation. Use the SBI model. (9 lines)

• Manager (You): Thanks for meeting with me. I wanted to talk about your presentation at the client meeting yesterday. Do you have a few minutes?
• Team Member: Sure, I thought it went okay. Was there an issue?
• Manager (You): Overall, your content was strong—the market analysis was excellent. However, I noticed that during the Q&A section, you gave very long answers that went off-topic.
• Team Member: Really? I was trying to be thorough.
• Manager (You): I understand. But the impact was that the client started checking their watches, and we ran out of time before addressing their budget concerns.
• Team Member: Oh, I didn't realize. What would you suggest?
• Manager (You): For next time, try keeping answers to one or two key points, then ask if they'd like more detail. It keeps them engaged and shows you value their time.
• Team Member: That makes sense. Thanks for the feedback.
• Manager (You): Of course. Your presentation skills are really improving overall. Let's practice the Q&A before the next big meeting if you'd like.

Discussion: Your mission: say the difficult thing

3 discussion questions

• Mission: choose a real situation from YOUR work — someone whose behaviour genuinely needs to change (a colleague, a supplier, even your boss). Deliver the feedback using Situation → Behaviour → Impact → Suggestion. Success = one specific moment, zero character words, and a way forward the person could say yes to. (Tutor: play the colleague and push back once.)
• Second take: same feedback, but the person immediately gets defensive — “that's not fair, you don't know the pressure I'm under.” Hold your ground without escalating. Which sentences keep it calm?
• Compare this with your 30-second version from the start of the lesson. What did you say then that you would never say now?